Listening is a skill we all think we’ve mastered—but few of us truly practice it. In this episode of Leading Below the Surface, award-winning executive coach LaTonya Wilkins explores what it takes to listen in today’s high-pressure, fear-filled work environments.

Episode Summary

Through a powerful coaching story and frameworks from her book, LaTonya shares how leaders can move from surface-level interactions to transformational connection using P2P (Person-to-Person) and P2B (Person-to-Belonging) listening.
You’ll walk away with clear, practical tactics for becoming a better listener, handling difficult moments, and building trust—even when times are uncertain.

Key Topics Covered

  • The surprising link between fear and poor listening
  • How empathy has shifted in today’s workplace
  • P2P and P2B listening: what they are and when to use them
  • Body awareness and emotional regulation during conversations’
  • The power of patience and “meandering in the muck”
  • A practical journal prompt to improve your listening habits

🎧 Ready to go deeper? Learn more about our ICF-accredited program: https://changecoaches.io/coaching-below-the-surface/

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Podcast Summary Transcript: 

[00:00] Introduction and welcome back

  • LaTonya returns after a brief hiatus and introduces the theme: why listening matters now more than ever

     

  • Reflects on the current rise in fear and anxiety in the workplace

     

[02:40] Why listening is harder right now

  • Empathy has declined, and fear is creating reactive, defensive environments

     

  • Many leaders are struggling to listen due to overwhelming noise and uncertainty

     

[04:50] Coaching story: Navigating fear in an executive team

  • LaTonya shares a story of a leadership team that seemed defensive—but was actually afraid

     

  • Instead of pushing, she chose to “meander in the muck” and listen more deeply

     

[09:10] Rethinking “active listening”

  • Active listening is helpful but basic; today’s environment calls for deeper methods

     

  • Listening is more than ears—it includes body language, intuition, and presence

     

[11:45] Person-to-Person (P2P) Listening

  • Involves full presence, multiple senses, and deep attention

     

  • Best used in 1:1s or small groups for authentic human connection

     

[13:10] Person-to-Belonging (P2B) Listening

  • Observes the collective dynamic in a group setting

     

  • Powerful for identifying unspoken patterns and relational energy

     

[15:45] How listening shifts leadership and group behavior

  • Through P2B listening, the executive team began to challenge each other constructively

     

  • Trust was built not by direction, but through space and awareness

     

[17:00] How to become a better listener

  • Step 1: Tune into your body before reacting

     

  • Step 2: Check how much you’re truly listening vs. talking

     

[20:00] A story of self-regulation

  • LaTonya shares a personal example of responding to a passive-aggressive comment

     

  • Breathwork and curiosity helped her stay grounded and shift the conversation

     

[22:20] Final reflection and journal prompt

  • Journal Prompt: Think of a moment that didn’t go as planned—what if you had listened 5 more minutes?

     

  • Listening can help us uncover the real story, often beneath the surface