In this episode of Leading Below the Surface, LaTonya Wilkins speaks with communications expert Debra Roberts about how her relationship with social media has evolved. Discover Debra’s journey from being a private person to embracing social platforms as essential tools for her business growth, and learn valuable insights for navigating your own online presence.
What You’ll Learn:
- How to transition from privacy-focused to strategic social media use
- Balancing personal boundaries with professional visibility online
- The importance of support systems when building an online presence
- Practical ways to leverage social media for business growth
- Tips for authentic communication in digital spaces
Key Discussion Points:
- Business Evolution: Debra’s transition from therapy work to a full-fledged communications business around 2018-2019
- The Double-Edged Sword: How social media serves as both a vital platform for business growth and a challenge for privacy-minded professionals
- Mentorship Impact: The role of encouragement and “nudges” from peers in developing confidence online
- Communication Protocol: Debra’s development of workplace communication tools that help organizations improve relationships and resolve conflicts
- Digital Authenticity: Finding your genuine voice online without compromising personal values
Actionable Steps for Leaders:
- Embrace Gradual Growth: Recognize that developing comfort with social media is a journey, not an overnight transformation
- Seek Community Support: Build a network of mentors and peers who can encourage your digital presence
- Set Clear Boundaries: Determine what aspects of your life remain private vs. what you share professionally
- Focus on Value: Center your social media strategy on providing meaningful content rather than mere visibility
- Invest in Communication Skills: Consider formal training to enhance how you connect with others online
Resources Mentioned:
- The Communication Protocol: Debra’s comprehensive program for workplace communication
- Communication Tools: Debra’s accessible $79 program for transformative relationship improvement
About Debra
Debra Roberts, LCSW, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, business consultant, and trauma-trained clinician with over 30 years of experience working in all settings. She is also an author, an Inc.com columnist, public speaker, and developer of the Relationship Protocol®—a practical and easy to follow communication model that transforms how we interact and work together. It’s at the core of The Communication Protocol®, an 8-lesson online professional development program for organizations that delivers rapid, positive workplace impact.
Debra also created My Communication Tools®, a new, compact and self-paced online program designed to improve personal communication, empowering people to have more personal agency, strengthen relationships, and talk about their differences. Connect with Debra on LinkedIn or Instagram.
Don’t forget to LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, and SHARE this episode with professionals who want to improve their relationship with social media! Let’s build more authentic and effective online presences together.
Connect with LaTonya and Change Coaches:
- Website: Changecoaches.io
- Email: [email protected]
- Follow LaTonya on LinkedIn
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- For More on the Book Leading Below the Surface<
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Podcast Transcript: LaTonya Wilkins and Debra Roberts
00:00:01 – LaTonya (A)
Hey folks, Latanya here! I am so excited to tell you about a new offering that we have here at Change Coaches. Last year, I was talking to some folks and decided to get an ICF coach training certification for Change Coaches. Woohoo! We have that, and our first program we are launching is Coaching Below the Surface.
00:00:20 – LaTonya (A)
What is this program, and who is it for? Well, it’s for experienced leaders who do coaching in their role. It’s for coaches who are already credentialed and want to do continuing education to renew their credentials. It’s for people who are coach curious. What will it help you do? It’ll help you relate to people around you better. Did you know that Gen Z is rising? Relating to Gen Z has been one of the number one leadership issues our clients talk about.
00:00:48 – LaTonya (A)
Disability and neurodivergence are also big workplace issues, and identities are becoming more and more multidimensional. So, what does this mean, and how will Coaching Below the Surface help you? Well, it’ll help you because, number one, you get ICF coach credits. Number two, you’ll be in a cohort-type environment where you can learn about psychological safety, belonging, and coaching joy. How to think differently about our client bases, and what will this get you? It’ll get you more clients, make you a better coach, and improve your ratings.
00:01:23 – LaTonya (A)
It’ll bring you up to speed with today’s workplace. So, if you’re interested, there’s a link in the show notes, and please join our waitlist. If you have any questions, you can email us at [email protected].
00:01:55 – LaTonya (A)
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Leading Below the Surface podcast. I’m your host, LaTonya Wilkins, executive coach and author of Leading Below the Surface. And today, I have a guest, and we’re going to be exploring all of the facets of online relationships. If you’re someone who has struggled with building online relationships, this is for you. If you compare yourself to others online, this is for you. If you have a contentious relationship with being online and on social media, this is for you.
00:02:30 – LaTonya (A)
I’ll tell you that my whole usage of social media has evolved, and we’ll talk about that with my guest today. Another thing I want to mention is if you like this podcast or if something resonates with you, pass it on! Also, you can leave us a review, and we’d really appreciate it. I’d like to challenge you to pass this on to maybe the first person you met online or one of your favorite people that you built an online relationship with. So let’s have some fun with this, and think about those friends as we go through today’s discussion.
00:03:03 – LaTonya (A)
So, my guest today is Debra Roberts. A little about Deborah: I don’t usually read bios, but you can find hers in the show notes. Deb and I met on Instagram. If you’re watching on YouTube, you’ll see how very different we are physically, age, everything—very different. Deb was one of those people I met online, and I wasn’t expecting to have such a good relationship with years later. It wasn’t something I had predicted.
00:03:54 – LaTonya (A)
This is one of those things I talk about with building relationships across differences. You just never know. And if you open up your mind, there’s a lot that can be found in these relationships. Deb’s helped me do a lot of different things, and I’ve supported her as well. We’ve also been friends.
00:04:15 – LaTonya (A)
When I met Deb, she was a couple’s therapist, and I think she was building a relationship business called the Relationship Protocol. She also has a book around the same name, which I have on the shelf behind me. So, first off, welcome, Deb! What did I miss in my introduction?
00:04:38 – Debra (B)
The only thing you missed that I sometimes think about is, if you think about our differences, the odds are kind of against us connecting in the first place and having had such a strong relationship. I went back into Instagram and looked at all the messages to see where it started because I was curious. I’d never really thought about doing that. I think it started around 2018 when you shared a post of mine.
00:05:19 – Debra (B)
I was so excited that someone shared a post of mine. We started from there. You talked about how you valued what I was doing, and you saw the depth of it quickly. That meant the world to me. That connection point showed we both really care about our work and do it with intelligence and respect. We have similar values, and that’s what really connected us.
00:06:15 – LaTonya (A)
Yeah, I remember when I first came across you on social, you were posting bite-sized pieces about relationships, and I really enjoyed that. It really helped me at the time. So what do you remember about our first interaction? When I reached out to you, this is important for folks to hear, especially if you’re thinking about reaching out to someone you may not normally connect with.
00:06:56 – Debra (B)
I don’t know if you knew who I was as much as you saw my posts. No one knew who I was back then. I remember telling my children, “I’m going to meet someone I met on Instagram,” and they were like, “What do you mean? Who is this person?”
00:07:33 – Debra (B)
When you reached out, our messages were respectful and thoughtful. It didn’t feel threatening, and I felt you were genuinely interested. I was drawn to that, and when we met, there was just an alignment of values. We were both trying to make a difference.
00:09:03 – LaTonya (A)
With that alignment, how has your relationship with social media evolved over time? Your business has grown, and I know you’re no longer doing therapy. Talk a bit about your social media journey and how it’s helped or hurt you.
00:09:41 – Debra (B)
Social media is a double-edged sword. It’s a platform to get my work out there, but I’m a private person. Initially, I was timid and afraid of negative comments. I learned everything from scratch. I remember hiring someone to run my social media, but it didn’t work for me. They posted sarcastic content that didn’t align with my values, so I took it over myself and started posting content that resonated with me.
00:12:04 – LaTonya (A)
That’s interesting about the sarcasm. I’ve heard that a lot, especially in the attention economy, where social media isn’t always great for branding. It’s great for organizing and staying connected, but it doesn’t always correlate with ROI.
00:13:06 – Debra (B)
It’s been a challenge to step out of my comfort zone, but I trusted my gut and pushed forward. I didn’t want to put my name on my book initially because I wanted the content to stand alone, but I’ve realized that the person behind the work is important.
00:14:47 – LaTonya (A)
That’s such an important lesson, Deb! It’s interesting how your journey with social media mirrors mine. I’ve also had a significant shift in how I engage with it and use it authentically.
00:15:05 – LaTonya (A)
You’ve done so many amazing things, like writing for Inc. So, let’s talk about that! How did you get that opportunity?
00:16:42 – Debra (B)
It happened through networking. I started learning how to pitch my work. I ended up pitching an article to Inc. about CEOs’ responses during COVID, and one thing led to another. They gave me a column, and I’ve had it for over three years.
00:19:28 – LaTonya (A)
It just goes to show that social media doesn’t have to be a one-size-fits-all approach. You have to find what works for you.
00:19:57 – LaTonya (A)
Now, let’s talk about self-doubt and comparison. How do we navigate that, especially in online spaces?
00:20:27 – Debra (B)
When I started, I didn’t feel the need to compare myself. I always believed in what I was doing. There’s room for everyone, and what I do is different. You had that same mindset when you started. You’ve always had a strong voice, and that’s what stood out to me.
00:23:13 – Debra (B)
Having people who believe in what you’re doing is key. LaTonya has been an incredible support for me in my journey. We push each other, and that’s been really powerful.
00:25:32 – LaTonya (A)
It’s about the depth of connections, not the number of people. The best relationships, like the one we’ve built, aren’t about popularity; they’re about authenticity and support.
00:30:59 – LaTonya (A)
Let’s wrap up with some advice for building online communities today.
00:32:03 – Debra (B)
Put yourself out there, follow people who resonate with you, and be genuinely supportive. The online world can be isolating, but it’s important to find like-minded people who truly get you.
00:35:39 – Debra (B)
I’ve created an online course called the Communication Protocol. It’s a simple, digestible program for improving relationships. If anyone’s interested, check it out!
00:37:24 – LaTonya (A)
That’s a bargain! Especially for anyone working in organizations right now. Communication is key, and Deb’s offering is a great resource.